Sadly, there is little doubt that bullies exist in our world. They may be physically abusive, call people names or engage in cyberbullying. Bullies are certainly not welcome at Roseberry and we have a zero tolerance of bullying here. However, what many people do not realise is that not every unkind thing children do constitutes bullying. Children are constantly learning how to get along with others and make mistakes along the way. They need parents, teachers and other adults to model kindness, conflict resolution, inclusion and responsibility.

As a result, children will occasionally do or say something that is hurtful and while it is important to address this behaviour, it is inappropriate to label them as bullies. Instead, we must try to distinguish between hurtful or unkind behaviour and bullying behaviour.

For something to constitute bullying, it usually contains three elements. These include an imbalance of power, a repetition of hurtful behaviours and an intention to inflict harm.

If we label every unkind thing a child does as bullying, the message of what bullying truly is gets watered down and the word bullying loses its meaning -  no one wants that to happen. When we talk about bullying, we want people to take it seriously. The following things should, and will, be addressed but are not considered to be bullying: expressing negative thoughts and feelings, leaving someone out (however deliberate exclusion to cause harm is), experiencing conflict, not playing fairly, teasing (but only when both children laugh and no one’s feelings get hurt). Please help us in helping children to understand the difference between when someone is unkind and when someone is bullying and to remind them to tell an adult in school if they are upset or worried.